


The Price of Life

by aelibia



Series: my past life [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Coupons, Domestic Fluff, Enemies to Lovers to Whatever This Is, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Grocery Shopping, Kakuzu is a crusty old man, Post-Fourth Shinobi War, Sakura loves her crusty old man, Triplets, Tsunderes, Unplanned Pregnancy, hospital billing, hospital stay, privatized healthcare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 14:59:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20726111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelibia/pseuds/aelibia
Summary: Kakuzu finds himself facing the true cost of fatherhood in a private hospital in Iron Country.





	The Price of Life

**Author's Note:**

> A re-edit and re-post of a fluffy little fic I made on The Other Site 11 years ago, while I'm working on planning out other things. Enjoy!

Kakuzu blinked. "You're joking."

"Nope!" Sakura grinned brightly from her hospital bed. "Having these babies just cost you thirty thousand ryo. And I think that one might have sneezed, so all the tests they'll run on her will cost more, and then we have to pay the doctors and pay for the room...so we're looking at something around thirty-five thousand, at least. Iron doesn’t have socialized health care, apparently. Guess we could always make a run for it."

But Kakuzu wouldn’t. People didn’t understand that side of him, the one part of his conscious concerned with money. He’d murder a man in a heartbeat, but incurring debt? Defaulting on payments? He’d rather die.

Kakuzu's hands tightened around one of the incubators, glaring at the tiny baby girl inside. _ Look at you, _ he thought to himself. _ All of you. Just sitting there like you don't cost more than three acres of land. An entire three acres. A bounty on an elite shinobi. _

_ "’We.’" _ He growled at the beaming woman, currently reading a grocery store sale insert with unnerving interest. "Since when do _ I _ have to pay for this? _ You _ made the choice to carry to term."

"Well, _ you _ had the super sperm to override my pills and impregnate me with triplets, Mr. Sweetie-Pie. Takes two to tango." Sakura licked her finger and turned another page, squealing in delight at a buy one get one free deal for mochi ice cream. Kakuzu sighed and resumed his one-sided staring match with his reluctant offspring. Said offspring slept, blissfully unaware of all the trouble she’d caused.

"I told you to quit calling me that."

"So you're paying for it?"

"...No." Principles concerning money did not translate into an unwillingness to lie _ about _money out of spite.

"Come on...not even for sexual favors?"

"You're not supposed to have intercourse for six weeks."

"Oh, it’ll be a lot longer than that, I assure you. Think you can make it? I'll bet you thirty-five thousand ryo you won't make it."

"It would be a waste of money, obviously."

"Yeah, what'll you ever do without that thirty-five grand?"

Kakuzu stared reproachfully at the giggling kunoichi, but decided to remain silent on account of his remaining (emaciated and mostly unused) good graces. Oh, she just thought she was _ so _ cute. What the hell was he doing here, anyway? No one was _ making _ him stay here with her. Was there even a damn good reason?

"Kakuzu," her voice rang out sweetly from across the room. "Come sit with me and help me cut out coupons." He looked, and she just had the most adoring, loving expression on her face, the one person who ever granted him that in the whole world.

Oh, right. 

Suppressing the urge to sarcastically inquire into the existence of discounts for childbirth in the fruit and vegetable section, Kakuzu shuffled over to the raised bed and sat on the edge with his face turned away from the woman lying in it, at least until Sakura forced him under the covers with her. It was just too good, and it made him feel guilty, which he despised.

Hell and damnation to his child abandonment issues. Damn his ancestors. Damn them all to hell.

"Will you cut out those detergent ones? Here, I'll tear the pages out for you. And here's the scissors."

Kakuzu took the scissors and the papers and began to cut, stealing glances at Sakura, looking away when she turned to him with her curious expressions and too-large eyes.

He cut with the same precision he did everything else, adding to her pile and shifting them around into categories, muttering about efficiency and the perils of disorganization. 

She patted his hand with affection, and his mind reeled, his memory yanking him back to a bar in the middle of nowhere in Hot Water after the war, to a pink-haired woman, still a girl really, who sat down next to him and started a conversation. So unconcerned that he’d survived his fight with the fox boy. So unafraid of his presence. It had been easy to fall into bed with her. It had been easier, unfortunately, to impregnate her.

“Thanks for helping me. Will you go pick up this ice cream for me? This one expires tomorrow. You’ll have to sneak it past the nurses; they’re _ so _ anal about outside food here.”

“Fine.” 

They were just coupons. It was just shopping. They were just children. He could stay with her longer. For a while.

There was just...nothing else to do, is all.

**Author's Note:**

> Kakuzu is the Old Man Tsundere we all deserve.
> 
> Please drop a comment if you liked!


End file.
